Mom Guilt. Yes, it’s a real thing. Yes, it makes absolutely no sense. Yes, it makes you feel like a crazy person, and trying to explain it to someone else doesn’t help you feel less crazy. BUT it’s something that I can almost guarantee every mom has felt at some point in their life and I’m pretty sure is one of the many reasons why moms are always so tired.
Now, trying to explain mom guilt isn’t easy, because it’s something that makes no sense. It’s when you finally get that girls night out (You haven’t put on a real bra in months) and you spend the entire time checking your phone to see if the kids are ok. It’s when you sneak away to the grocery store by yourself but then see someone else with their kids and now you feel guilty for being away from yours. You would think that these moments to yourself, when you don’t have another human being clinging to you like a spider monkey, would be amazing! Yet you still end up missing your kids. That’s mom guilt.
Mom guilt comes in different forms, and today was one for me. I haven’t slept well the last few nights (really haven’t slept good in 5 years) and today was just rough. No one fought too bad, we got outside and enjoyed the January in Wisconsin 30 degree heat wave, and we had some good playtime. But this afternoon I still needed a break. So I put on some Paw Patrol for the 2 year old, let the 4 year old play the tablet and gave the 1 year old cheerios and toys and had them all in the playroom while I folded laundry in the dining room. We have an open concept house so I could still see them, would ask them how it was going, but for that 30-45min when they were playing, I still felt bad that I wasn’t over there with them. Yes, Laundry needs to get done and it’s much easier when it isn’t being unfolded as fast as you can fold it, but I felt like it was taking away from moments with my little ones. Yes, they were fine, yes they need time alone too, but I had that mom guilt like I was taking the easy way out by having TV play babysitter instead of me. Rationally, I know they will be fine, but rational thoughts and mom guilt don’t play well with each other.
I think this is why many of us moms have such a hard time taking care of ourselves and our sanity. I have a hard time rationalizing going out with friends, or taking time away from the kids when I know they are only going to be little so long. In my head I can’t justify taking time to go get a massage or go get my nails done when it means that I will have to leave my kids with someone else. And then I just picture the crying and the begging not to go and, well, this is why I look tired all the time.
Social media does not help our mom guilt any. When you see pictures of other people doing awesome things with their kids, or sharing the amazing home cooked meals they made, and you are just happy you got everyone dressed for the day and they ate all their mac and cheese.
So, ya, mom guilt is real, it makes no sense, but I know it’s something all us moms can relate too. So for those that aren’t parents , or you kids that wonder why moms are so crazy, it’s because of our mom guilt.
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