Feeling comfortable in your own skin is something that I think most people struggle with. Shoot, there are multiple industries out there all profiting on the fact that we always want to change ourselves. Everything from plastic surgery to cosmetic lines, hair products, clothing lines, weight loss programs, and the list goes on and on and on. Ever since I was little I have always been a big girl and have had a hard time feeling comfortable in my body and it’s something I still struggle with today. But thankfully, I have learned over the years how to accept myself and where I am at with my size.
I am currently at my heaviest weight, ever. I have 3 kids to thank for that but I can’t put all the blame on them. I, like many, used pregnancy as an excuse to not eat the best and to stop working out thinking I could just make up for it once they were born. Well once 10lbs wouldn’t go away, then another 10lbs, and another 10lbs, I am currently 30lbs over my pre-pregnancy weight with my first kid, (Yikes!) which was still 25lbs over where I wanted to be. I long for the days when I could comfortably fit into a pair of jeans, and yes, even wear a belt with them. Even after all of that, I can say that I don’t feel bad about it. I find it very easy to compare my recovery and what I look like to other moms and feel bad about myself; feel like I am a slacker because I haven’t got back into those jeans yet. And it’s at those times I have to remind myself I have had 3 beautiful babies in 4 years, I have put my body through hell, and it hasn’t given up on me. My body is amazing. And since my body has done so much for me it’s time to start taking better care of her.
If you are following my blog posts you know that I have been on a kick of making changes this Lenten season, changes with my faith, my heart, and my life and now it’s my health. Last week I joined an accountability group and started working out again and eating healthier. Oh man, am I getting my butt kicked. Back in the day (I can say that since highschool gradation was 10 year ago now) I was so active, playing tennis and basketball, being in the musical and on the dance team getting a workout in was easy. I just started a Zumba type workout on my computer and I felt like the most uncoordinated cow ever. Thank goodness I was at home and the only people watching were my kids because I am pretty sure I looked like I was having a seizure. I haven’t broken a sweat like that in years and I have been sore for a week. I could have easily used any of the above things as a reason to not work out the next day, but I did it anyways. I am proud to say that a week later I am a little more coordinated and actually enjoy working up a sweat and that achy feeling you get after a good workout.
Every workout is hard, and having a salad for dinner or lunch instead of mac n cheese or pizza is not a walk in the park, especially from a girl who absolutely adores any type of carb. It’s hard getting on the scale and not seeing the numbers go down as fast as I want and even, sometimes, start to go back up. I have to constantly remind myself that it took 4+ years to add on the weight and it’s going to take time to lose it. But more importantly than losing the weight is making the lifestyle changes that allow me to gain strength and energy to be able to keep up with my kids, to get off the floor without feeling like a 90year old lady, and to be a good example for them. So I am asking all of you to keep me accountable for doing this, and if you need an accountability partner I will be yours too. Step by step we can make the changes to our lives to feel confident, and show the world how amazing we can be.